Soul searching in the middle of the night is a good idea because?

Well it started the other night.

I was reading blogs when stumbled across mummamayhem who is training to loose her post baby jelly bum and do a 5k run… so for a tool to help her she downloaded an app to get her to 5km in 8 weeks.

So I downloaded it too! I figured I cant be that fat or unfit that I couldnt learn to run 5km in 8 weeks. 8 Weeks is like 2 months. Sure I can.

Week 1, Day 1 = Brisk 5 min warm up walk, then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for 20mins.

Yep not for me! I couldnt even run for the 60 seconds!!

Then my man and I had a romantic getaway, and while we were childless we did a lot of talking (imagine that!) and decided that we would get fit together and get skinny for our trip home at christmas time…

We were in the city shopping and I found a book called Run fat b!tch Run. I figured thats what I need! I think this book is going to be my live saver!! I laughed my way through it and then as the Grit doctor would say, I got cracking.

There is 3 main points the author Ruth Field tries to get across when it comes to fitness and weight loss:

1. Drink more water
2. Eat less crap
3. And run

It was a very enlightening book. No diets, no fluffy crap about working out to a specific regime, just get out your front door and run.

Im loving it!! Ive gone from dying at running for 60 seconds to keeping up a jog for just over 2 mins in a week. Im thinking in around 6 months I will be lighter and run for about 20 mins!!

Wahoo fitness here I come!

The Definition of Courage

One of my favourite sayings is:

Courage is not the absence of fear or despair, it is the strength to overcome them.

My strength and courage is about to be tested when we go on holiday in fourteen days.

‘On holiday?’ I hear you say… Yep on holiday. We are going home. To the quake ravaged city of Christchurch.

Getty Images

Must admit, although I am exetremly grateful that I was not there to go through it, and that my family are remarkably all ok, Im not looking forward to going there.

When I was living in Christchurch I had fears of there being a large earthquake, never did I imagine  it could happen to this scale. Im now pleased to be living in Australia, but in two weeks its my father-in-law’s 50th birthday and we will be attending.

Of course we have the feeling of wanting to go home to help where we can but in the pit of my stomach I just don’t feel safe. I’m almost traumatized at the thought of what those poor people who have lost loved ones are going through right now. But we are going.

We had our own harrowing experience, we were not able to contact my daughter’s Grandmother for quite some hours. Her friends were asking us if we had heard from her and none of the other family members had heard from her either. What happened was that she was able to get out of the building but her car and belongings were stuck in there and she had to walk four hours home and was unable to contact anyone to let us know she was safe until in my panic I asked somebody I knew to check her house. When this person got home they posted on facebook that she was alright!  I have never been so grateful for social networking!!

Another of my friends is a mechanic, he was at work when the shaking started, he told me the noise is terrifying and he thought to himself, ‘well this is it, I’m gone’ the hanging lights of the workshop came crashing down around him and the floor opened up – a foot wide crack is now present right in the middle of their workshop. He says that although the big earthquake was terrifying and horrible, the hardest thing to deal with is the aftershocks. They just never seem to stop.

It’s hard to imagine, after being in scary earthquakes that have done no damage, and imagine the terrifying minute that brought down almost a whole city crumbling to the ground, taking Brothers and Sisters, Mums, Dads, Aunts and Uncles away from their families. I almost cry every time I see the news, and see more images of the place that I did my growing up, all the places that have a memory for me now a pile of concrete.

My only wish is that for all the people who remain in Christchurch to carry on with the strength, dignity and determination that they have shown to the world since September, and I’d like to say to them Kia Kaha my friends, and God or whoever is out there, Bless You.

Assertiveness… And My Issues!

Have I ever mentioned before I have issues….

No not serious ones, I’m not a babbling drooling mess, nor am I totally freaked out by the world, I just have ‘run of the mill’ kinds of issues, the tame stuff. Parental leftovers you may say!

So recently I engaged with a psychologist, just to iron things out… to be a better role model for my children and all that nice stuff you are meant to say while seeing a shrink. Anyway it turns out a lot of my issues stem from a lack of assertiveness… in fact a personality mostly formed of passiveness! YAY go me!

In order to lead a more assertive existence I am to find opportunities to be assertive. (Queue ‘Jaws’ music)

The psychologist suggested perhaps sending a coffee back and asking for a better one. (Queue nail-biting and high-pitched shrieks of “I could never do that to somebody”)

So perhaps we start with something smaller. This time she suggested saying “Excuse me” in an actually audible tone when somebody is blocking the isle in the supermarket. It happens to all of us, all of us do it, so a ‘excuse me’ should be received reasonably well and overall be a positive experience for me!

I haven’t been to the supermarket!

But I have been to the movies.

I went all on my own the other night. Kind of my valentine treat, I know it’s a bit different to have a treat on your own for valentines but I did just state I have issues. Anyway this is what I wanted, a night on my own (for a few hours at least) able to gorge myself on popcorn, mmmmm popcorn…………  oops, sidetracked!

Where was I, oh yes, gorging myself on popcorn and fizzy, and not sharing!!! And no interruptions of children just for a few hours… yep great valentine present. Thanks my Man, I appreciated it tons!!

I arrive at the cinema, feeling all empowered on my own! Get my ticket and massive combo of popcorn and fizzy. Find the cinema and take my seat, thinking ‘ooh this is going to be AWESOME’. I used all my willpower to save my popcorn to eat it during the actual movie, or otherwise the majority of it I have inhaled before the previews have even finished, and the movie begins. I crack open the box and breathe in… no hang on, this is not right, where’s the intoxicating aroma? Taste test then, ‘ah what! its blimin stale’, and even worse it’s all those little bits, the corners of the perfectly popped kernel and all the little yellow husks that get jammed in between your gum and your tooth and are really annoying because you can’t get them out.

Man I was bummed out. Usually I would not complain, because that’s being passive. NO confrontation. But in all my psychologists wisdom, she had suggested that I, Renee, take on these kinds of opportunities and  be assertive and grow from the experience accordingly.

Well I didn’t want to miss the movie now, and who knows how long asking for new popcorn takes? I certainly don’t because I have never done it before, so my best option was to wait until the movie was over then go and ask for a voucher for a new popcorn for my next visit. This was the most logical solution, and it lent me time to build up the courage to actually do it.

So from my persistent anxiety about the whole situation, I only half enjoyed my movie, (which is my issue not the cinemas, so I would not be asking for free tickets) Any how it was still very enjoyable and satisfying that not one person said “muuuummmm”

The movie ended and my stomach lurched at the thought of the upcoming confrontation. I pried myself out of the seat and forced myself to walk towards the doors and then the counter. All of a sudden the need to pee arose and I quietly told my body to stop trying to talk me out of this, I’m going to do it. Thankfully I had chosen the last showing of the movie for the night so there were very few people to witness me fumbling my words…

I finally make it to the counter after a walk which seemed like the green mile, only to find….

They had shut for the night and there was not a soul to speak with.

But anyway, the point I was actually making was that I nearly did it.

Popcorn I can fight for…..   Mmmmm Popcorn