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Assertiveness… And My Issues!

Have I ever mentioned before I have issues….

No not serious ones, I’m not a babbling drooling mess, nor am I totally freaked out by the world, I just have ‘run of the mill’ kinds of issues, the tame stuff. Parental leftovers you may say!

So recently I engaged with a psychologist, just to iron things out… to be a better role model for my children and all that nice stuff you are meant to say while seeing a shrink. Anyway it turns out a lot of my issues stem from a lack of assertiveness… in fact a personality mostly formed of passiveness! YAY go me!

In order to lead a more assertive existence I am to find opportunities to be assertive. (Queue ‘Jaws’ music)

The psychologist suggested perhaps sending a coffee back and asking for a better one. (Queue nail-biting and high-pitched shrieks of “I could never do that to somebody”)

So perhaps we start with something smaller. This time she suggested saying “Excuse me” in an actually audible tone when somebody is blocking the isle in the supermarket. It happens to all of us, all of us do it, so a ‘excuse me’ should be received reasonably well and overall be a positive experience for me!

I haven’t been to the supermarket!

But I have been to the movies.

I went all on my own the other night. Kind of my valentine treat, I know it’s a bit different to have a treat on your own for valentines but I did just state I have issues. Anyway this is what I wanted, a night on my own (for a few hours at least) able to gorge myself on popcorn, mmmmm popcorn…………  oops, sidetracked!

Where was I, oh yes, gorging myself on popcorn and fizzy, and not sharing!!! And no interruptions of children just for a few hours… yep great valentine present. Thanks my Man, I appreciated it tons!!

mmmm popcorn

I arrive at the cinema, feeling all empowered on my own! Get my ticket and massive combo of popcorn and fizzy. Find the cinema and take my seat, thinking ‘ooh this is going to be AWESOME’. I used all my willpower to save my popcorn to eat it during the actual movie, or otherwise the majority of it I have inhaled before the previews have even finished, and the movie begins. I crack open the box and breathe in… no hang on, this is not right, where’s the intoxicating aroma? Taste test then, ‘ah what! its blimin stale’, and even worse it’s all those little bits, the corners of the perfectly popped kernel and all the little yellow husks that get jammed in between your gum and your tooth and are really annoying because you can’t get them out.

Man I was bummed out. Usually I would not complain, because that’s being passive. NO confrontation. But in all my psychologists wisdom, she had suggested that I, Renee, take on these kinds of opportunities and  be assertive and grow from the experience accordingly.

Well I didn’t want to miss the movie now, and who knows how long asking for new popcorn takes? I certainly don’t because I have never done it before, so my best option was to wait until the movie was over then go and ask for a voucher for a new popcorn for my next visit. This was the most logical solution, and it lent me time to build up the courage to actually do it.

So from my persistent anxiety about the whole situation, I only half enjoyed my movie, (which is my issue not the cinemas, so I would not be asking for free tickets) Any how it was still very enjoyable and satisfying that not one person said “muuuummmm”

The movie ended and my stomach lurched at the thought of the upcoming confrontation. I pried myself out of the seat and forced myself to walk towards the doors and then the counter. All of a sudden the need to pee arose and I quietly told my body to stop trying to talk me out of this, I’m going to do it. Thankfully I had chosen the last showing of the movie for the night so there were very few people to witness me fumbling my words…

I finally make it to the counter after a walk which seemed like the green mile, only to find….

They had shut for the night and there was not a soul to speak with.

But anyway, the point I was actually making was that I nearly did it.

Popcorn I can fight for…..   Mmmmm Popcorn